Dear Old Dad
"My boy," said the millionaire, "when I was your age, I carried
water for a gang of bricklayers."
"I'm might proud of you, Father. If it hadn't been for your pluck and
perseverance, I might have had to do something like that myself."
"What does your husband work at?"
Lillian: "I quit because my boss used a couple of offensive words."
Marie: "Is that so? What did he say?"
Lillian: "You're fired!"
The Good Old Days
The Old Timer remembers when the only fringe benefits were those a man got from
watching the tassel dancer at the county fair.
A three-year-old French boy watched his father pour a cup of coffee for himself
"Papa," he pleaded, "may I have some coffee, too?"
"Of course not," he was told. "Coffee isn't good for little boys.
Drink your nice wine."
Since all you fellows say that you wear the pants in your family, we suggest
that you protect them by wearing an apron while doing the dishes.
Two lions escaped from the zoo in Washington, D.C., and didn't meet again for
several weeks. One was fat, the other nothing but skin and bones. When they
finally met, the emaciated one said, "How in the world do you manage to be
so well fed?"
Fat Lion: "I've been hiding in the Pentagon eating a General every day. So
far nobody's noticed it."
If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was so terrible, he
should see it with representation.
A true diplomat is a fellow who can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Good for What Ails Him
"I wish we'd get a few shipwrecked sailors washed ashore." mused the
cannibal chief. "What I need is a good dose of salts."
GREAT NORTHERN RAILWAY - GREAT FOR FREIGHT